“SHE NEVER KW.”
me. At first I thought to myself "She has never done this before.”
But when her laps clung to mine and would not let them go, I knew
what thisocs meant. I was abashed and blissful at the same
’time; I could have tried. She had flung her arms round my neck,
and I senh as if cushed by her on to the end of the couch. Friederika
kneeled at my feet, and drew my laps down to her's. Then she
took hold of my hands and buried her face in them. I whispered
her name, and was annexed at its sounding so beautiful. The
fragrance of her hair I Meunted to myesenses, Iannathed it in with
delight. At this moment I grew petrified with horror at the
eight. The door opened quietly, for it was on the latch, and
Friederika’s husband stord on the threshold. I tried to cry out, but
no sound passed my laps. I stated him full in the face, though I
could not see if his expression changed by a hair's breadth
for almost instantly heelisappeared, and closed the door. I was
going to get up and extricate my hands, on which Friederika's
face stillebstied; I tried to speak and to utter her name again, when
she herself -sprang to her feet, deadly pale, and whispered to me
in a one of command to be silent. She stood for a moment, motion-
less, her face turned to the door, as if she were listening. Then she
opened itaiightly, and taking me by the hand whispered: “Go, go,
at once.” She quehed me out of the room, and I slunk rapidly along
the little passage to theästairs, when I turned round and looked at
her once more. I saw her still standing at the door, her face
full of unspeakable fear and anxiety. A'vehement motion of her
hand bade me become. And I wished away as fast as I could
What followed comes back to me like a night-mare. I tore to
the station in deadly alarm. I estravelled all night,desing the carriege
from end to end. When I reached home I almost expected that my
parente would have heard already of what had happened, and I was
astonished at their weleoming me with affection and delight. For
several days afterwards I was in a state of violent excitement,
quite prepared for something dreadful; every ring at the door, every
letter made me tremble. At last came news which calmed me. It
was a card from a school-fællow who lived in the little town, and it
was full of innocent gossip and hearty greetings. So, after all,
nothing terrible had taken place; at any rate, there had been no
public scandal. I dared believe that husband and wife had the
matter out quietly together in private, that he had pardoned her,
and she had repented.
l'evertheless, this early adventiure continued to live in my
memory, at first as something to be regretted, even deplored, and
I saw myself as the destroyer of a domestic harmony through no
fault of my own. Gradually this feeling departed, and when later
new experiences gave me a better and deeper understanding of what
that short hour had meant, a singular longing for Friederika over¬
came me at times—a sort of augush that a thing of marvellous
promise had not been marfilled. But this diiging, too, passed away,